Clealyan's Journal

You will be missed.. Huiting.

Slowly I've gotten use to the AP job in mediacorp CA, and slowly I think I'm losing myself day by day not knowing what should I do next. Life to me now is like standing at the crossroad.

I've confidently told a lot of people that I will not stay in MC for long coz I want to further my studies badly. But there's this fear in me somehow asking me that what if I couldn't pull thru my years overseas. Sigh. What should I do??? I have been asking myself that question over and over again.

Supposedly today was a happening and happy day for me this morning. I finally took my first driving lesson, it's a mix feeling of excitment and kanchiong-ness. But so happen that after i return home i recieve a shocking news that one of my Sec schoolmate, Huiting, passed away in a bike accident. The moment i saw the sms from Em n June i was totally shocked, stood there for about a min or so thinking I might have misread their sms or thinking it might be a prank but today ain't April's Fool. Gotten Fang's miss call and I called to confirmed what has happen to Huiting. At the very moment, I really felt life is so funerable and I'm almost lost at words. You wouldn't know that the last time you saw a friend might be the last time you met him/her.

Knowing her for 5yrs, although I won't say I know her very well but still, she's someone that I spent most of my recess with along with others. She's always the onepicking and laughing at my pronounciation of some random chinese words. I could vividly remember her smile and laughter, her little gestures when ever her fringe gets into her eyes, her energy during PE lessons and many more... Everything seems to happen just yesterday but now, she's totally gone forever.

Few years back i remembered clearly that when I recieved the news of my cousin's death I didn't feel as much as I felt for Huiting's death. Perhaps I ain't that close to my cousin compare to Huiting as we hang out everyday in school. At this moment I wish I have a chance to tell her that I really appreciate her as a friend in my life. But things always happens this way, you only regret after losing something.

Remembered Gracie ever told me she lost a dear fren a few years back, and now I could really put myself in her shoes to feel how she felt at that moment. All I wish now is Huiting would rest in peace and all my frens please take care of yourself and your love ones as much and possible.

I'll always remember today's date, 18th May 2008, my first lesson in driving and the death annivesary of a dear fren.

-shan-
Why is life so strong yet so funerable??? :'(

posted by Cleaylan's Journal @ 6:44 pm